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If you’ve been struggling with bringing up the pre-nup subject with your special someone, researchers from North Carolina State University suggest using a metaphor instead.

 

“Many people view prenups as being negative, and argue that they indicate a lack of faith in the marriage from the outset,” says author Lynsey Romo. “By the same token, we know from other research that open communication about financial issues contributes to successful relationships.”

“And yet there is virtually no academic research on prenups. So how do people talk about prenups? How do they make sense of them? That’s what we wanted to explore here.”

 

The research team found that generally, most people fall into one of two categories: people who think prenups are good and those that don’t like them.

Those that don’t like pre-nups argue that they contradict the purpose of marriage as a lifelong endeavor and seen as an “exit plan,” where at least one in the relationship is already having doubts about their partner.

 

“You’re not even married yet and you’re thinking about what happens when you get divorced”.

Yet, the research found that most people are more positive about pre-nups thinking of them as a type of insurance, or preparing for the worst while planning for the best.

“Nobody plans on crashing their car, getting cancer, or having their house burn down but they still get car, health, and home insurance.”

 

Others think of pre-nups like a car’s airbags. “Getting a car with airbags does not mean you don’t also make sure you have good brakes and tires. Smart people do all the above; only crazy people say if you get airbags you’re jinxing it or are not committed to making things work.”

Others think of pre-nups like a business contract and point out that two companies would never merge without clearly defined expectations set from the start.

 

“It was clear…that metaphors served as a powerful tool for helping people not only understand what prenuptial agreements are, but what purposes they serve,” Romo concludes. “Metaphors helped many people reframe and understand other perspectives on prenups”.

If you are wondering how to tell your partner \spouse you want a pre-nup you could tell them that you would like an insurance policy to protect your assets for your future and your children’s future. You could use the example of airbags in a car.

 

Personally, I’ve never needed them and don’t plan on ever having to need them but it’s good to know my car has them, just in case I have a car accident. It gives me peace of mind not only for my protection but also my children’s. Similarly, a pre-nup will give you the peace of mind to enjoy your relationship knowing that your assets are secure for your future and your children’s future.

 

 

Feel free to call me on 021 077 7785 for a free 15 minute phone call to discuss pre-nups further.